We are home

                               I have always wanted to take something old and make it
                                                              new again,
                                                                          especially old houses.
                     When I drive by an old house, I wish I could buy it, make it new again, and
                       let the rooms ring with laughter and sunshine from a sweet, young family.

                                                     

                                                        So now   

                                                                     Here

                   We

                                         Are!

Making a house new again! 

I wrote the following in my journal on my youngest daughter's 19th birthday.

OUR NEW ADVENTURE

2-15-13

A great deal of anxiety found a place in my soul today as we traveled to Tetonia to clean 

OUR house. 

I still continue to call it Lance's mom and dad's house, but hubby reminds me it is

 OUR house. 

I am not sure how to feel. 

There is a part of me who wants to scream from the housetops about the excitement I feel anticipating moving to a home with 'land' and all the possibilities it holds. 

Another part of me does not feel such excitement.

Several weeks before the signing of the papers for the house, 

my days had been filled wondering if this was the right thing to do. 

Several times a day I would find myself praying that if this is right, we would get the house, 

yet my heart was not in it. 

There was so much baggage left in Teton Valley, 

baggage I do not care to open and deal with again.

 Even though it has been almost thirty six years since leaving, 

I find long lost feelings arise in my mind, taunting and degrading the person I think I am.

The day for signing the papers came. 

It seemed surreal.

 Could Heavenly Father be allowing this to go through? 

Yes, apparently. 

There we were in the room, signing papers which would change our lives forever.

 I took the pen and began going through the motions, 

signing each page with no thought, 

just having a numbness. 

While feeling scared and out of control of happenings in my life, 

the escrow officer asked how old the house was. 

I began explaining what Mom had told me years ago, about a log cabin, 

one of the first built in Teton Valley, 

being moved onto the property when she was about three years old. 

The house she was living in had burned down. Mom was raised in this little log cabin. 

After she and Dad were married, they lived elsewhere for a while, 

but when Grandpa Hansen became ill, Mom and Dad moved in with him. 

After he died, another log house was moved in next to the first one and Dad fixed it into one house, adding on two more times during his lifetime. 

It is an old house! 

Slowly the thought began to grow in my brain

 this is an historic building. 

Then another thought came to me: 

This is the plot of land Great Grandpa Hansen bought for his son many years ago 

when Teton Valley was making it's debut into civilization! 

We had just purchased land that has been in the family since the beginning of it's first surveillance!

And now here we were rolling over the dry farm hills, 

making our way to our new home. 

So many thoughts and feelings vying for time and space in my mind.

Snow covered the walk up to the door. 

My dear hubby made a path and I followed with a box of things from our old house. 

As I walked in, ran the box up the stairs where we have planned to put all the boxes for now,

 I began to feel some excitement. 

Returning for another box,

 I found myself jogging, happily. 

Running it upstairs, the excitement growing. 

Lance said he would bring the boxes in if I wanted to grab the cleaning supplies and begin cleaning. After grabbing them, I walked into the house, set the bag of supplies on the washer, 

and continued on into the kitchen. 

There I stopped 

and looked through the dining area and into the living room. 

Such a strong feeling over came me and I knew at that moment, 

yes, 

this is the right thing. 

A voice in my head said, “I have told you many times.” 

I thought of the warm, overwhelming feelings of love and acceptance I have had in the temple on several occasions and also at home as I have knelt in prayer

 asking for guidance and reassurance from my Heavenly Father that the path we are taking is right. 

“We are home”. 

I stopped for a bit 

to take in this glorious feeling of warmth and confirmation of our Father's blessings 

for the steps we have taken.

Two more times during our cleaning of the house I felt the same strong, warm feelings. 

I know this is what we need to do at this time. It is clear and I am sure.